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The Part-Time Drivers Respond…
My fellow-blogger Lewis has written eloquently on the war between what he calls Full-Time Drivers and Part-Time Drivers. If you haven’t read his post, http://blog.privatefleet.com.au/home/part-time-drivers/, please do so. But in a nutshell, he seems to state that Part-Time Drivers (those who consider their car primarily as a means of getting from A to B and only drive when they have to) have a tendency to drive and park like idiots. Well, I happen to fit the basic definition of a part-time driver who considers driving a means to an end, and I am moved to speak up on the behalf of those like me.
At the outset, I thoroughly agree with Lewis about the irritation of drivers who seem to live in a little bubble that co-exists with the bodyframe of the car. I also see red when somebody takes up multiple car parks, double-parks outside the school, drives slowly in the fast lane and texts while driving. However, not all part-timers drive like this. I will, however, freely admit that I am not a perfect parker, but this leads me to search for a spot I can get the car in and out of easily even if this means I have to walk a bit further. As an aside, it does seem that the civil engineers who designed some parking areas drive little hatchbacks, as even the full-time driver I am married to thinks that they’re a bit narrow for the family Ford Fairlane even when parked with pinpoint precision. If there’s an SUV in the next space that’s even slightly off-centre, considerable care is needed to avoid damaging its paintwork while getting out of the car.
Part-time drivers may be part-time for a number of reasons. We may be concerned for our own health and thus walk or bike for a bit of extra exercise. We may want to cut down on our environmental footprints. Or we may have a look at the price of petrol and wince. Or we may be quite happy to surrender the wheel to the full-time drivers in our lives. And – contrary to what the label “Sunday Driver” suggests – we have other hobbies in our lives and would rather not spend our spare time sitting on our backsides. Alternatively, if we cruise around just for the fun of it, we may prefer to do so on two wheels.
However, part-time drivers do not hate their cars. Nor is it the case that we don’t give a tinker’s cuss about what we drive. We select our cars with great care – good looks and raw power alone won’t impress us. We also look at practicality (Will the surfboard fit in the boot? Will this car be able to tow the caravan?), safety, economy and our creature comforts. We are not totally devoid of aesthetics and will shun a vehicle that is plug-ugly. Some of us also use a vehicle as an expression of our social status/pay packet (although we’ve all heard about the multi-millionaires who get about in second-hand Toyota Corollas). And yes, we will personalise our cars with seat covers, bumper stickers and so forth. In fact, there is little to distinguish us from the full-time driver in this respect, except that the full-timer is more likely to be attracted to a little sports car. Although not always – some take the attitude that even if you only use a car to get from A to B, you may as well do it in style.
Part-time drivers also get a bit annoyed at some of the things full-time drivers do. It is the full-timer, rather than the part-time driver, who will charge from lane to lane, trying to overtake everything that moves as if the simplest trip to the supermarket was a race. It’s the full-timer who is more likely to speed “because this car is built for it and needs to go fast” and give you the heebie-jeebies when they barrel around corners just to put the handling through its paces. And could you call those annoying boy racers (and girl racers) who keep certain neighbourhoods awake at night with screeching tyres and amplified exhausts anything other than full-time drivers?
A full-time driver woz ‘ere wiv his mates.
And, on the human side of things, we part-timers get rather annoyed at the way emotion and attachment is lavished by full-timers on something that is, fundamentally, a machine that cannot love you back or even recognise you. And we sympathise with Shania Twain’s sentiments:
You’re one of those guys who likes to shine his machine
You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in
I can’t believe you kiss your car good night
C’mon baby tell me – you must be jokin’, right!
Oh, you think you’re special
Oh, you think you’re something else
Okay, so you’ve got a car
That don’t impress me much
So you got the moves but have you got the touch
Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you’re alright
But that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night
Tokyo Motor Show – The Highlights
It must be a hard job, organising a motor show. There’s so many of them these days and it must be tricky to stop the shows becoming a bit same old-same old. At any given motor show, you can guarantee that there will be three things: (1) several new cars that are actually going to hit the roads will be unveiled; (2) someone will put out a great idea for a concept car that may or may not make its way into regular production but is a blinking good idea; (3) there will be some concept cars that look tacky, trashy, weird, ugly or the lot combined. In the bad old days of the 1960s and 1970s, when free love was in with neither the feminists nor AIDS to stop such things, they had nude female models attracting attention to the new cars. Thankfully, that sort of cheap shot has stopped and the show organisers have realised that – gosh golly gee whiz – women buy and drive cars, too. The Tokyo Motor Show tends to be well known for having more than its fair share of bizarre and out-there concepts, and I suspect that it is this feature that keeps the enthusiasts coming. And why not?
With the three standard features in mind, I checked out the goodies at the recent Tokyo Motor Show to find representatives from all three categories:
The New Production Cars:
- Honda Vezel: An SUV equivalent of the Jazz. Looks like a practical and attractive model; pity about the name, which sounds like a Germanic weasel (mercifully, there are currently no plans for a diesel Vezel – would be a good fuel but you’d feel like a twit saying it aloud).
- Lexus RC Coupé: two-door version of the popular IS range. Super sleek!
- Mini Cooper: The classic gets yet another reincarnation that keeps the usual retro looks but is a shade bigger than the little dinky-wee we’re used to.
- Jaguar F-Type Coupé: This European sportster stole the show from under the nose of the local manufacturers. Powerful and with looks that are reminiscent of the old E-type, this one got plenty of people salivating.
- Subaru Levorg: Midway between the Impreza and the Liberty, this is a “sports tourer” that has a traditional stationwagon shell hiding a fierce engine. (Better hide this one from my Subaru nutcase brother).
The Great New Concept Ideas:
- The Toyota FCV (Fuel Cell Vehicle): A sleek zero-emissions vehicle using hydrogen cell technology that Toyota hopes to add to its regular production line-up in the next three or so years. Here’s hoping!
- Mitsubishi Concept GC-PHEV: GC stands for Grand Cruiser; PHEV stands for plug-in hybrid electric vehicle. It’s supposed to be a Pajero upgrade.
- Subaru Cross Sport: The makers say that this Toyota 86 competitor is a concept only but the dealers are practically begging for this sporty four-seater to go into production.
- Lexus LF-NX: Lexus gets turbocharged in a head-turning package.
- Daihatsu Deca Deca: The name is wacky and it the styling looks like it’s an inflated Barbie accessory (but not in pink and purple) but quite practical and not too bad.
- Honda S660 Concept: A super-small convertible roadster that looks like a lot of fun.
- Ken Okuyama Yanmar Y Concept: Who says tractors can’t look snappy?
- Mazda3 CNG: Designed to run on compressed natural gas or regular fuel, it’s a concept version of the popular Mazda 3.
- Mitsubishi Concept AR: a crossover between a minivan and an SUV. An intriguing idea but the colour nearly got it put in the “bizarre” category.
- Nissan IDX FreeFlow: Designed with the help of teenagers and a few folk in their early 20s, this is surprisingly tasteful and a tad retro.
The Hideous, Trashy and Bizarre:
- Toyota FV2 (FV standing for Fun Vehicle): A car that’s supposed to sense your emotions and where the driver stands up and leans from side to side to steer the vehicle. It’s not ugly but it is certainly bizarre. It also is supposed to change colour according to your feelings – a mood ring on wheels.
- Nissan BladeGlider: Seats three, has lots of aerodynamics and an electric motor, and looks plain old weird. It’s triangular.
- Daihatsu FC Deco Deck: It seats one person. It’s hideous. It’s impractical. Enough said.
- Kawasaki J: A motorbike with ambitions of being a Transformer and looks very uncomfortable to ride indeed. I’m still not sure exactly where the rider goes, let alone a pillion passenger.
- Suzuki Hustler: The name alone earns it a place in this category. So do the looks.
The Sordid History Of Speeding Tickets
Speed limits and all their associated legal paraphernalia have been with us for a while, it seems. I came across a book called The Strange Laws of Old England by Nigel Cawthorn and found (among heaps of other trivia) a few facts about where these rules all started up.
Back when things that moved by themselves were first invented– horseless carriages, locomotives and Mr Benz’s petrol-powered internal combustion engine – it didn’t take too long until the law makers started shuffling bits of paper and red tape around. It wasn’t the only red thing, either. One of the very first laws controlling motorised traffic (the Locomotive Act of 1865) required any vehicle that didn’t rely on animals to get moving to have a bloke walking 60 yards in front of it carrying a red flag to warn everybody that one of those machines was coming along – if only the cavalcade accompanying the council worker mowing the grass verges near the roads where I live was a simple as one red flag. While that fellow was walking with the red flag, the car itself should have three drivers at once. (Don’t ask me how – one to steer, one for the accelerator and one for the brake? One for each pedal?) The speed limit at this time was a positively blistering 2 miles an hour in town and 4 miles an hour on the open road (the average speed for a trotting horse is 8 miles an hour). The give way laws dictated that if a horse rider or the driver of a horse-drawn carriage held up his (or, more rarely, her) hand, the car had to stop. If you failed to comply with the speed limits, naturally, there was a ticket to be passed out and you would be fined the huge amount of £10 max was handed out. They raised the speed limits 31 years later to 14 miles per hour in rural areas.
Arrest them immediately! This car has only two drivers rather than three!
It was about this time that the very first speeding ticket was indeed handed out to a speed freak named Walter Arnold, a resident of Kent who was caught doing 8 miles per hour in an urban area, thus exceeding the speed limit by 6 miles per hour (alternatively, doing quadruple the designated speed limit). A cop chase ensued, with the bicycle-mounted policeman overtaking Mr Arnold and fining him one shilling when he was caught. Considering what would happen to you these days if you were caught doing four times the legal limit in town, this was a fairly light sentence.
Speed traps weren’t far behind, either, being introduced in the early 1900s. By now, the speed limit had been raised to 20 miles per hour on the open road and 10 miles per hour in urban areas. However, in special effort to clamp down on those naughty leadfooted Brits, speed traps were put in place. These traps consisted of a nice tall hedge, a cop and a stopwatch. If one of the boys in blue timed you going from A to B in less than a certain amount of time, he would set out in hot pursuit on a bicycle.
Bicyclists didn’t have it all their own way, though. Those rattling bone-shakers could spook horses and make them bolt – and if you think today’s traffic can be dangerous, you haven’t seen what a horse having a panic attack can do. One particular by-law required cyclists to “inquire politely” if they wanted to overtake a horse-drawn carriage so the driver of the horses knew to take a bit of extra care. A lot more charming than putting on the indicators…
If you are looking for a bit of light reading for the holidays coming up, you can have a bit of a peek at this book, if you can track it down. There’s more trivia about traffic laws – including the fact that a cabby (taxi driver) is allowed to pee on the rear wheel of the taxi as long as he (presumably!) has his right hand on the wheel – and a list of the offences that might have been the one that put your ancestors on the ship to Botany Bay.
Toddlers, Tantrums and Car Seats
Waaaah! I don’t wanna get in the car!!!! I wanna play on the roundabout again! I don’t wanna get in the car!!! Don’t wanna! No! No! No! Waaaaaah!
If you are a parent, you probably recognise that sort of conversation and your heart sinks. Because in spite of what your toddler thinks, he or she is going to have to get into the car. And you can’t just pick them up bodily and plonk them on the back seat like what used to happen in the past when the typical passenger car didn’t have rear seatbelts. Oh no. It’s got to be the car seat, securely buckled in.
If you have a four-door sedan, hatch or station wagon, you are in luck. The job of getting a stroppy toddler throwing a tantrum into a car seat will only be moderately difficult. Now you know why big Ford Falcons and Holden Commodores are such popular family cars in Australia. The difficulty level goes up a notch if you have an MPV or a 4×4 with seven seats and the car seat is right in the back row or in on the driver’s side… with a van-style door on the passenger side. As for a three-door hatch or a two-door sedan or coupé – boy, you’ve got problems. Anything that can be clung onto in an attempt to resist being put in the car seat will be. Toddlers have surprisingly strong grip and the door pillar (aka B pillar) in, say, a 3-door Suzuki Swift is just the right size to be grabbed. And then you have the issue of folding down any seats in the way with a screaming, wriggling little body in your arms.
Next, you have to actually wrestle the toddler into the car seat, and get all arms and legs into the right place so you can do up the harness… which children between 6 months and 4 years have to have. This is definitely a two-hand job, so sling whatever you can onto the driver’s seat to keep it safe. It can be tempting to hold a stroppy kid in place with a strategically placed knee, especially with those harnesses that require two hands to do up. This does not look good, although in extreme cases, it can be done very gently and lightly. What makes this wrestling job worse is that the person you’re trying to get into the seat is likely to be kicking and hitting at you – and even a two-year-old is capable of hitting you quite hard in the vulnerable areas that tend to be exposed when bending over to do up a car seat harness.
So what are you going to do? Here are a handful of ideas that might work for you and your child:
- Bribery and corruption. Offer a treat as a reward once the car seat is done up. Might work once or twice but this sets up the idea that once a tantrum is thrown, a reward is given in order to stop it… so another tantrum is started next time to get the reward for stopping.
- “The cops will be very cross with you and me if you don’t have your seatbelt on.” It’s probably not the best to use cops as a sort of bogeyman who will Get You if you don’t behave, as this does create a bad image of cops as bad guys later on, but can work. Even more effective if a cop is nearby and can be inveigled into telling the child to wear the seatbelt or else.
- “You need to be safe in the car in case we crash.” Won’t work. Crashes are an abstract concept for little kids who have never been in one. Explaining and reasoning with someone who thinks a tantrum is the best solution to a problem never works.
- Hold the child on your lap, or put him/her in a safe place until the tantrum finishes. Then put your child – who will probably be exhausted by now – into the car seat. Requires patience. In a supermarket car park, the back seat of the car is a good safe place for the tantrum to take place. If you sit in the car and do nothing, eventually your toddler will decide that being buckled in and going somewhere is a lot more fun than screaming and throwing a wobbly in the back seat of a stationary car.
- Distraction. Works for tantrums in a lot of situations. Requires a sense of humour and the willingness to look silly in a car park. You could try making the car “throw a tantrum too if you don’t let me put your seatbelt on” and then see what you can do with hazard lights, horns and/or car alarms. Alternatively try “Can you do a louder scream than that?” or “I can see another scream coming – have a look and see it in the car mirror? What about in this mirror? Does it look the same? What about in the other wing mirror?” Or mimic your child by going “Waaaah! Don’t wanna!” back at them or in synch with them.
If only it was this easy…
If tantrums about getting in the car are a common problem, then allow yourself a bit of extra travel time margin for them to take place. This takes the stress off you slightly.
Hang in there. They do grow out of the tantrum stage eventually. Later on, you’ll get the “Can I borrow the car keys?” issue, but that’s another story.
Level 2, 9 Help Street